Dear-
I wonder what you’re doing now. It’s one in the morning; are you sleeping? And what are you dreaming of? What thoughts dance through your mind as this night gives itself over to you, sleepy and pale through your window? To what of yours does this moon bear witness, as it shines steadily in an unbroken sky?
I wonder where you’ve been. Are you satisfied in your distance? Are your steps steady, sure at the track they make? I hope so. It would be a shame to cause so much turmoil without at least the confidence of having chosen right. I hope you have been studied and careful. I hope you have not taken this all lightly. I hold you so dearly. I don’t think you know how much.
I love you in spite of myself. I love you even now when I don’t see any reason to, when I don’t see any hope for it. I worry for you, that you might be hurt or unhappy or that something is wrong and I can’t help you or ease your mind or comfort you. I think sometimes I might be broken. I can’t imagine loving anyone else in such a way, either such type or such degree. I hope it isn’t true. I used to call you my true happiness. You do remember, don’t you?
Above all else, what I want for you is only the best that you could possibly have. I pray that God continues to grow you, and that he blesses you with opportunities to learn and to serve him. I pray that you will find your delight in his light yolk and that his glory and sustainence will be ever present in your thoughts and ambitions. I pray that you are comforted when you are grieved, encouraged when you are downtrodden, and that when you are weary your rest is complete. I love you, my brother, my dear one, my might-have-been husband, my friend. I love you, and I love you whether you return my affection or revile it.
So, good night, sweetness. Let the early morning spill her wonders upon your pillow. And after dawn breaks red and running across the sky, may you wake to a beautiful morning.
Love,
Marianne
