I have A Problem.

Okay, okay, so I have many problems. In fact, my biggest problem sometimes is trying to catalog and address all my problems. Especially the cataloging part. I have problems like a bargain hunter after a liquidation sale. My problems are varied and voluminous, oddly sized and awkwardly shaped. But they are all exacerbated by The Problem I drew attention to previously, which is this: I love the short road.

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Yes, in this case, the Walrus is me. And the time has come, as I mentioned before by proxy as my current animal incarnation, to speak of other things. And work on them, which is the more difficult part.

I’ve been reading my way through Romans and last night I was up to chapters 12 and 13. I’ve been feeling not so great recently about picking up my old bad habit of smoking and what do I find as soon as I read the first verse, but: Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Ouch. I’ve been zinged. But, I must say, deservedly so.

The truth is that I’ve been lax and I’m not to pleased to share it, but it is what is, so I must proclaim it I suppose. It isn’t only a matter of smoking either really. I’ve been lax in many things. I was talking to Ron about this last night. Last year at this time, I was, perhaps not a different person, but full of God in a much different measure. The things that I haven’t been able to understand yet, like those particular losses that I mention again and again, have blocked something valuable from entering.

The losses aren’t important; The gifts were. And though in some cases, I still don’t understand, the important thing is Job 1:21  The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.

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I’ve decided to take the day off. And how, you may wonder, is this different from the last hundred days you’ve spent lounging around in your life?

Wait, lemme think . . .

No, no, it’s a valid question . . .

. . .

Anyway, today I’m taking off.

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I’m thinking of  starting a multi-month fast. However, since my body will probably not hold up to the rigors of a hundred days of food  deprivation, I may shorten it. Slightly. Maybe not.

So why are you doing this, you may be asking yourself. Might I suggest you ask ME instead of yourself? Since I’m the one doing it and all?! Sheesh. Whatever.  Anyway, I’m doing it for a couple of reasons, but the principle one is  that I feel like I need some more discipline. As of late, I feel like I’ve slacked. And certainly the challenges of this past year have been key in this laxening of my behaviors. But it’s no excuse. A reason surely, not an excuse.

Some good news: I’ve been smoke free for two weeks come tomorrow. Huzzah! How cool am I? And the answer comes, there aint enough space left in this limitless entry to express it.